Holo-Hell
by NaughtyAngelVicky
Summary: Rimmers in trouble; can Lister save him?


This is a story based on the ever popular TV show, Red Dwarf written by Grant Naylor and produced by Ed Bye. The characters in my story belong to them except for John Stevens and Sarah Peters they are mine. 

This is my first fan fiction and I do hope you like it, it is set out as a script. Please send in your comments I would love to hear them:

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Holo-Hell

By NaughtyAngelVicky

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(Holly's head appears in the middle of the screen)

Holly: The mining ship Red Dwarf stranded 3 million years into deep space. The crew Dave Lister the last human alive god help the universe! Arnold Rimmer a hologram of a dead man... well a dead git then! Cat the only known survivor of the felis-sapiens evolved from the common house cat but twice as vain. And then theirs Kryten 2X4B 523P a sanitary mechanoid designed to clean lavatories. I am Holly the ships computer with an IQ of 6000 the same IQ as 12000 Chemistry teachers.

Cut to Red Dwarf in space: We hear a siren and Holly 

Holly: Red alert, red alert we have a red alert situation here.

Cut to drive room: Lister, Cat and Rimmer enter. Kryten is fiddling with scanners looking very worried.

Lister: What is it Hol?

Cat: Yeah this better be good, you have interrupted my main snooze of the day!

Holly: If you call being sucked into another dimension good!

Rimmer: What, what did you say? Another dimension… why did you not see this before? 

Holly: Well if I had a little help running this ship, its all Holly I'll do it, Holly don't need anyone else, lets leave it to Holly.

Lister: Ok, ok Hol we get the picture. Ok Kryters is there any way we can escape?

Kryten: You really want to know sir?

Lister: Yea I really want to know. 

Kryten: You sure you want to know?

Lister: Yeah, I'm sure I want to know.

Kryten: You're sure you're sure you want to know?

Rimmer: Kryten, do you want us to open the top of your head and pore raw gravy into your circuits again or are you going to tell us how we are going to escape! 

Kryten: There is no escape sir, we are all doomed.

Cat: Are you trying to say, we all going to die? And more importantly am I suitably dressed? 

Rimmer: If anyone needs me I'll be cowering under a table, ok?

(He gets up and starts to run out, Lister grabs him and forces him back to his seat)

Lister: Come on man, we need all the help we can get!

Rimmer: But what possible help can I give you, I'm a cowered, a selfish, under achieving cowered remember, I would not be a single bit helpful, in fact I might make the situation even worse!

Lister: I know man, but desperate times.

Rimmer: Why do I even bother?

Cat: Exactly, why don't you just get out of our lives and do everyone a favour?

Rimmer: Oh I see, it's be nasty to Rimmer day.

Cat: Yeah just like every other day of year.

Lister: Stop your jabbering we are all about to be turned into the equivalent of lumpy custard!

Cat: Oh great and just when lumpy custard is out of season!

Kryten: Actually Sir we will probably make it through alive, it's getting back that's the problem, so we will be stuck in this new dimension which…

(Ship starts to shake)

Lister: Hold on to your seats everyone, here we go!

Cut to outside: We see Red Dwarf getting sucked through a spinning hole. 

Cut to drive room we see a lot of falling crates, as RED DWARF gets shaken up, then it stops. Lister gets up and looks around.

Lister: (In a shaky voice) Is everyone ok?

(Cat and Kryten get up and say "yea fine." Rimmer is nowhere to be seen.)

Lister: Rimmer! Rimmer where are you?

(Lister rummages around; Rimmer is lying under a large crate he is moving his arm, which is sticking out.)

Lister: (Panicked) Rimmer man are you alright?

(All we can hear is a very muffled voice; you can just make out "Of course I'm not smeging alright." Kryten and Lister try to move the crate but can't. Cat just watches.)

Cat: Well all this is tiring work… I'm off.

Lister: Aren't you going to help?

Cat: Hell no, I'm late I've already missed 15 minuets of my main snooze, I've got to snooze, I'm a Cat.

(The Cat exits)

Rimmer: I feel strange! (Rimmers hologramatic form starts to break up, and the box comes tumbling down on his light bee)

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Cut to deep space we see some writing it says '3 WEEKS LATER'

Cut to Listers quarters, we see Lister reading a book, called 'Time, can we change it?' Just then Kryten enters:

Kryten: Hello Sir didn't you hear me I've been trying to tell you your vindaloo is ready. (Walks up to Lister and hands him his curry) What are you doing sir?

Lister: Thanks man! (Starts to eat curry) I'm trying to see if there is any way to get Rimmer back.

Kryten: But why, I always thought you hated him, you detested him, you despised him, you...

(Lister cuts in)

Lister: Kryten I promised him, and when I promise I mean it. And anyway I... well... I miss him.

Kryten: But he wouldn't do the same for you sir.

Lister: Kryten I'm getting him back! I know he would do the same for me. You don't understand the connection I've got with him, things... things that I should tell him but can't...

Kryten: (Looks baffled) Ok sir, do you need any help?

Lister: Yeah I was just reading about time travel and...

Kryten: No sir we can't stop it because it has already happened, so we never did it, because we would not be doing this now if we hadn't, (gets tongue tied) oh just think of Coorsality one effect causes another it's far to dangerous.

Lister: I know that, but what about a time link!

Kryten: I'm afraid that won't work ether...

Lister: Ok then, you come up with a better plan!

Kryten: We could go to Rimmer, instead of trying to bring him from another time zone.

Lister: But he's dead.

Kryten: Exactly. 

Lister: It's times like this that make me want to chuck you into a waist disposal unit!

Kryten: I'm only telling you the truth sir!

Lister: Ok! So you mean bring him back from the dead?

Kryten: Technically he was already dead sir, our Rimmer was a hologram, and they don't die they just don't exist. Rimmer is at the moment in a place known as Holo-world it is a computer simulated world for dead holograms. 

But it is an awful terrible place sir. The living always had some sort of hatred for dead people who were brought back so it was there way of punishing them, turning them off and sending them there!

Lister: Can we get him out of there?

Kryten: The only way is to, send in another hologram one that is not dead so they can drag him out.

Lister: But there are no other holograms on this ship, all the discs were damaged beyond repair in that dam explosion, so we can't bring back a hologram. 

Kryten: Sir if we can find another light bee then I could transport one of our minds into that form, so they could be sent to holo-world, to rescue him.

Lister: I'll do it! But where do we get a light bee, and do we have the equipment to do this?

Kryten: All we need is the mind swap machine and I'm sure we have some spare light bees.

Lister: Oh not another injection to my head!

(Cat enters the room.)

Cat: Waaaaawww, I'm looking good.

Lister: Cat, we have to find some spare light bees.

Cat: Why?

Lister: To save Rimmer, no time to explain we have got to go now!

Cat: To save Rimmer eh? I will say it again, why?

Lister: There is no time for this! 

Cat: I want to know why you want to rescue someone who has all the charm and charisma off a toilet seat?

Lister: Because he's part off the posy and we stick together!

Cat: Ok, ok bud but don't say I didn't worn you, the next time you want to rip off his head and feed it to space weevils, you can get your own axe!

(Lister, Kryten and Cat exit)

Cut to drive room Kryten, Lister and Cat enter

Kryten: I do believe there through here sir... There they are and theirs the mind swap machine! Now all we have to do is load your mind into the light bee while keeping your body in a death like state.

Lister: Will it hurt?

Kryten: Not if you keep still.

Lister: Ok strap me up. All I'm saying is Rimmer better appreciate what I'm doing for him.

(Kryten straps Lister into a chair, and gets out the long needle he slowly injects it into Lister's head, he then loads up the machine and straps a large helmet to Lister's head. Kryten pushes a big red button. The machine makes a lot of noise Lister starts to make jerking movements and then it stops and Lister's body goes limp)

Cat: Now what?

Kryten: I just have to re-boot the light bee and then we will have Mr Lister back but as a hologram.

(Kryten picks up the light bee puts a small chip from the mind swap machine in it, jabs a few buttons, and puts the light bee on the floor)

Kryten: Here he comes!

(The light bee floats up from the floor and Lister's form suddenly appears in the middle of the room) 

Kryten: Mr Lister! Are you ok?

Lister: Do I smegging look ok. I'm a hologram for smegs sake, smegging hell.

Cat: What are you going do now?

Kryten: Send him to holo-world. I'll just download your form so that you are with Mr Rimmer sir.

Lister: What do I do when I get there?

Kryten: Find Rimmer then head for the light. The one glimpse of hope in the otherwise stinking smouldering hellhole that Rimmer now has to call home.

Lister: Ok I'm ready!

Holly: Program downloading in 10,9,8,6,5,4,3,2,1

Lister: Hay wait...!

(Lister suddenly vanishes)

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Cut to Lister: We see him in the middle of what looks like a cave. He is all-alone.

Lister: HELLO! RIMMER!

(Lister starts to look around it is really dark apart from some torches hung on the walls, giving it a dim spooky look) 

Lister: RIMMER!

(He looks up at the figure; it is a statue of a screaming man.)

Lister: Weird!

(We look around and see loads of them; some of them look familiar. Lister gets really close to one, it's Kryten) 

Lister: Holy Smeg!

(Lister then turns around and is looking into Cats eyes)

Lister: RIMMER, RIMMER!

(We hear a noise; Lister hides behind one of the statues. We see it is a hologram,

but it isn't Rimmer. Lister looks at his name tag it says Stevens J Technician First Class, Lister then sneezes.)

Stevens: Hello who's there? Sarah is it you have you come to save me?

(Lister steps out of the shadows)

Lister: No I'm Lister are you another dead hologram?

Stevens: (Sigh) Yeah been here for a while me, well a few million years actually.

Lister: You used to be on Red Dwarf didn't you? Yeah I remember your face.

Stevens: Red Dwarf aye, yes I was a technician first class the names John Stevens!

Lister: Dave Lister! Who's Sarah?

Stevens: Sarah Peters she's my girlfriend, or was. Been waiting here for her ever since JMC decided to turn me off.

Lister: Turn you off why?

Stevens: Some one more vital to the mission died so I was given the old thumbs down.

Lister: That's tough.

Stevens: No I knew it would happen, holograms are made to take an oath so we know we can't turn back when it comes to switch off time. So why are you here?

Lister: One of my mates died... well again so to speak and I've come here to rescue him.

Stevens: What's his name?

Lister: Rimmer.

(Stevens chokes)

Stevens: Arnold J Rimmer?

Lister: Yeah

Stevens: He's your mate?

Lister: Well no he's more of a person I happen to have met... Actually I've come to care about him spending all these years with him.

Stevens: Rimmer! Why is he here and why did he get to be brought back as a hologram?

Lister: Holly brought him back to keep me sane, you see there was a radiation leak which killed the entire crew except me cause I was in stasis, the ships now a drift 3 million years in deep space. With just me, Rimmer, a man that evolved from my pet Cat and a mechanoid. We are trying to get back to earth. Oh it's a very long story I will tell you it some time..

Stevens: You mean Sarah is dead!

(Stevens looks down at the floor)

Stevens: I knew she was, I mean 3 million years! How could she still be alive I just thought, oh I don't know.

Lister: I'm sorry man.

Stevens: It's ok, I just have eternity left in this hellhole.

Lister: Hay what if I get you out!

Stevens: What? But I thought you were rescuing Rimmer, you can't have 2 holograms at one time on the ship.

Lister: Now we can, Holly has figured out how to sustain 2 holograms without using to much extra power. And anyway Rimmers hard light, so he can touch stuff, so there would be little power wasted to sustain you. I'm sure we could find some way to make you hard light too.

Stevens: You would really do that for me?

Lister: Sure man, hey I could do with a bit more company.

Stevens: That would be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me! How can you get me out of here?

Lister: I can ok but we have to find Rimmer first!

Stevens: Rimmer, I remember him he took the astro navigation exam the same time as me, but I passed he just kept on failing, every time, 13 times he sat that exam, 13 times and still he failed he was a trumped up disaster of a man!

Lister: Well he wasn't exactly the lowest rank on the ship. I was!

Stevens: Oh I'm sorry!

Lister: Don't be, I liked it and I still do! But he did try you can't say he didn't try. He just never gets any breaks, theirs a lot more to Arnold Rimmer than he lets out... we have to find him.

Stevens: I guess!

Lister: Hey you have been here for a while, do you know where he could be?

Stevens: He could be anywhere this is a big place. The cave of lost soles is where we are now, it's the safest place, that's why I'm here, the other places are much worse. Most new people are taken to the castle of despair, were there chained up and tortured. Holograms can feel pain here, it's like being a human in the real world, we are human here which is the worst part. 

Lister: Well we better go there then.

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Cut to Red Dwarf flying through space.

Cut to medi bay we see Listers body hooked up to allot of machines. Kryten is fiddling with the machines. Cat enters.

Cat: Hey buddy, how's monkey?

Kryten: He's stable, though the next few hours are critical.

Cat: Ok bud, keep me posted. I've been so worried I haven't changed my suit for three whole hours. I'm a mess! (Cat leaves room; Kryten goes back to the machines)

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Cut to dark, damp room looks like a dungeon. We see bones scattered all over the place as well as spiders and rats running around. 

Camera moves until we see a man chained up to a wall, his clothes are ripped and dirty, and he has blood stains all over him, we move closer to his face and see it is Rimmer. He looks like he's been crying. We hear a banging noise from the door; Rimmer looks up:

Rimmer: (In a shaky voice) Hello?

(Banging noise continues, the door begins to break and then falls to the ground. Lister and Stevens enter)

Rimmer: Listy that you?

(Lister runs over to Rimmer and holds him in his arms)

Lister: Yeah man, how are you? (Lister begins to try and open Rimmers chains)

Rimmer: (whimpers) I've been better... They won't open I've tried. (Looks up at Stevens) Who's this?

Stevens: You not remember me AJ?

Rimmer: John Stevens navigation officer first class? Yeah I remember you.

Stevens: Well I'm flattered you do!

Rimmer: You sat the navigation exam with me once.

Stevens: Yeah I remember. You still a fish?

Rimmer: Oh ha, ha! I see you're still a smug git! Please excuse me for not saluting you.

Cut to blank screen we see writing it says '2 HOURS LATER'

(Lister has managed to break free Rimmers feet but his hands are still stuck hard, Lister gives in)

Lister: There is no way we can free your hands, the keyholes have been welded shut!

Stevens: We really should be getting out of here soon, its nearly night fall and you don't want to be here when it's night!

Rimmer: Well what shall we do?

Lister: I only see two alternatives, ether we leave you here to suffer forever or we get rid of those hands, so you only suffer a little bit and when we get back to Red Dwarf the suffering will be over.

Rimmer: Sooooo... you are suggesting I can either stay here and live a death of internal misery or you cut off my hands?

Lister: Well yeah but it will only hurt till we get back to Red Dwarf.

Rimmer: NO I won't let you, I can't, I just can't go through with that, I can't stand pain!!!

Lister: (Puts his arm round Rimmer) Oh Rimmer come on we won't be able to save you if you don't. You wana be here for an eternity?

Rimmer: But cutting off my hands! Don't you think that's a bit drastic! Are you sure there is no other way? 

Lister: It's the only way I can think of.

Rimmer: Oh smeg this can't be happening. Ok do it quickly before I have a chance to think!

Lister: John man get that axe there (Lister points to an axe along with other torture instruments, Stevens picks up the axe and hands it to Lister) Ok man this won't take long.

(Holds up axe)

Rimmer: Oh smeg, Oh smeg, Oh smeg!

Cut to: we see the head of the axe, camera stays still as Lister slams it down and we hear the most blood curdling scream.

Cut to: outside we see Lister, Rimmer and Stevens running across a forest towards the cave Lister had started off in.

Cut to inside cave. We see Lister and Stevens rummaging about for some way out, Rimmer is just sitting there with his hands all bandaged up, we can see the thick blood stain, he looks like he's about to faint.

Lister: HOPE! That's what Kryten said look for! Come on lets all think positive.

Rimmer: I haven't got anything to be positive about, I have no hands!

Stevens: Well I'm getting out of here at last I feel great!

(We see a bright light shining on Stevens and he vanishes)

Lister: Smeg, now I get it, keeping people sad and depressed is the only way to keep people down here, think happy thoughts.

Rimmer: Oh great you've turned into a character from peter pan!

Lister: Come on man it's the only way!

Rimmer: I can't I have nothing to be happy about!

Lister: How about getting out of here isn't that good enough.

(Rimmer screws his face up trying to feel good but he can't. Lister sits down next to him and hugs him)

Lister: (Says quietly to himself) Well here it goes. (In normal voice) If you can't go back for you go back for me. I feel a lot for you man, I care for you so much... actually I love you! I've loved you for along time. I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you over the years, I just didn't know how to show you how I felt I was scared that you wouldn't share my feelings and never want to see me again. This is very hard for me to say.

(Rimmer looks up at him in tears)

Rimmer: Listy?

(Lister closes his eyes and kisses Rimmer gently on the lips. They both suddenly vanish)

Cut to Red Dwarf drive room, Kryten is taking care of Stevens; cat is brushing his hair.

Rimmer whose hands are back to normal and is dressed in his clean uniform is looking at Lister who looks very pail.

Rimmer: Did you really mean what you said or just said those things to bring us back?

Lister: (Puts his hands behind his back) Of course I only did it to bring us back you smeg head, like I'd ever care about you!

(Rimmer turns round and exits his face out of view. Camera zooms into Lister's hands; his fingers are crossed. He lists up one of his hands and brushes away a tear. Kryten walks up to him) 

Kryten: Lets get you back to normal sir...

(We suddenly hear:)

Holly: Red alert, red alert we have a red alert situation here.

Lister: What is it Hol?

Cat: Yeah this better be good you have interrupted my main grooming time.

Cut to space we see writing, which says 'HERE WE GO AGAIN!' 

THE END………….For now

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There I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
